Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
