Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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