3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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