How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
