one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
