Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
