If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
