Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
pray to the hookup gods
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
