plz talk dirty to me
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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