Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
