Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So much Jack, so little girl.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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