I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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