You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
