I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
