it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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