It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
