Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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