Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
