oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
