Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
