You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
