He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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