Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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