After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
