Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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