oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
