I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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