I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
