Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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