I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
