there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
