just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
this will be a night to untag.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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