I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
