I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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