marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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