I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
