So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
