The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
