In the future we'll all be gay
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
