she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
