Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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