does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
