a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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