..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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