Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
