chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Randomize
