don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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