after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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