last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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