Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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