Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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