I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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