So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
